Behind the Fence
by Where-or-When
Summary: For those of you that read & enjoyed Over the Fence, here's a few chapters told in Bender's perspective before it all started.
1. First Date

Seven thirty on a Thursday night. What could be better? With my headphones blasting in my ears and my pencil dancing between my fingers, I searched my room for something else to do besides Biology. Yeah, like I'd ever to bio anyway.

"BENDER!" Jen screamed, I could even hear it with my headphones on.

I slipped them off onto my shoulders and poked my head out of the window, watching Jen struggle to climb over the fence. "JENNIFER!"

"Guess what just happened!"

"Um,"

"Too late!" She said, climbing through my window and rolling off my bed onto the floor.

"Whoa, Jen are you-"

"No me first!" She pushed my legs aside and sat down. "I just got asked out."

I did my best fake smile. "Who done it?"

"Daniel Baker."

I stood up and put my textbook and binder on my dresser. "Nope,"

"No seriously he did, I just got off the-"

"No, I mean you're not going out with him."

Jen crossed her arms bitterly. "And why is that?"

"To put it quite simply," I plopped next to her, "that guy's a dick."

"John, _you're_ a dick."

"Be that as it may, he's no good for you."

"And who is?"

"Paul Newman."

She shook her head. "Sorry man, he's been taken for a while." She climbed out and over the fence again.

~!~!~

Almost six o'clock, the next day. I could feel the anxiety in the air from Jen getting ready for her date. I knew better than to pop over and get in the way, but I eventually found myself sitting on her bed anyway.

"That you, Bender?" Jen called from the bathroom.

I laid down. "Who else?"

"Come over here!"

I pulled myself up and across the hall. Even in a robe with curlers in her hair, Jen was stunning. I sat on the edge of the bathtub behind her and watched.

"I need you to do me a favor." She said.

"What's that?"

"I need you to pick out what I should wear."

"Go like that. Take your hair down first, though."

"John, I'm serious!" She walked out and back to her bedroom. She pulled open a dresser drawer and slid open her closet and left again, calling back, "Go nuts!"

I had to be serious. Not for Dan's or even her sake, just for the sake of remaining close friends with her. "Where's he taking you?"

"A movie!"

_Aw, how cliché._

I took out a pair of worn jeans with holes in the knees, a plain black T-shirt with a little California republic flag acting as a breast pocket, a long jade cardigan with black patches at the elbows, and her black Chuck Taylors.

Jen soon came back in, make-up on and half her curlers still in. "What have you got?"

I pointed to my pile of selected clothes on her bed. "You're welcome."

She cringed. "Is that really okay?"

"Jen, you hardly know him and all you're going to do is sit in a dark room for two hours. He's not going white tie, so you don't need to sweat it."

She let out a sigh. "Alright, I trust you. Let me just finish with my hair."

With that, I walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. I couldn't believe what I did. So what, I have a crush on her for years and then I help her get ready for a date just like that? And on top of that, it was a date with a good-looking, popular jock? I needed to get my head examined. But, I went along doing as I did before. I figured Jen was too nervous to eat, so I made her a little snack. As I was scraping peanut butter in the long stick of celery, I heard Jen again.

"John, can you come here?"

Back in the bathroom, Jen was fiddling with her hair. The curlers left her shoulder-length hair with the layers curving in and the rest underneath in rich curls.

"Do I look too fancy?"

"You look too hot for him." I answered, handing her the celery.

Jen shook her head and walked out past me to get to her room. "Not hungry."

I followed her and stopped the door from shutting in my face. "Yeah you are."

She groaned, took the celery out of my hand, and shut the door. I stood outside waiting to hear her eating. When I heard the first loud crunch, I went to the living room.

I never knew Jen to be the type of girl who would be scared of first dates, and I was doing everything I could do to keep her calm, but so far nothing was working. Having nothing to lose, I put on Jen's favorite Dinah Washington record.

A couple minutes later, I was back in the kitchen looking for something for me. I found a bag of tortilla chips, sat on the counter, and waited for Jen to emerge.

"Where are you, John?"

"In the kitchen with Dinah."

"Very funny," she said. Jen stepped out of the hallway into the kitchen with minimal grace but with maximum allure. Jean holes trimmed, shirt tucked in, cardigan sleeves pushed up, and canvas bag on her shoulder, I was ready to take her out myself. "How do I look?"

I painfully swallowed my premature mouthful of chips and smiled. "You look really beautiful."

She came over to me and leaned back on the counter. "What if he stands me up and this was all just a joke?"

"Then I'll kick his ass on Monday."

I took out a chip and handed it to her. She nibbled at the corner for a moment before asking, "What time is it?"

I glanced back at the clock on the wall. "Almost 6:30."

"Fuck," she walked over to the window and watched the street.

I stood next to her. "So what theater are you going to?"

"We're actually going to a drive-in."

I dropped the bag. "A _what_?"

She looked up at me, eyes widened and speaking voice lowered. "I didn't tell you that?"

"You forgot that part."

She looked back at the window silently.

"Look," I began to pick up my mess, "just don't let him kiss you."

Jen gasped and hopped over me. "Okay!" She put a hand on the doorknob and crossed her fingers. I copied her, staying low to the floor so Dan wouldn't see me.

With that, Jen was gone. I crawled over to the door and peeped out the little window, remembering that the Dinah Washington record was still playing. As Dan opened the little silver car door for Jen, I could hardly keep myself from busting my door down and taking Jen back in for myself. I managed to stay back and watch as Jen left with him.

_Then the world discovers as my book ends_

_How to make two lovers of friends_

I took the needle off the record and headed back over to my house. "What's your secret, Dinah?"

**I feel like I should say that those two lines were pulled from the song "I Could Write a Book" okay thanks I'll add more soon so long very well pip pip cheerio.**


	2. A Letter

Jen and I had our first big fight earlier that week. I can hardly remember it all, everything happened so fast. I knew it was all my fault. I just couldn't handle the fact that she was spending so much time with Dan, so who could blame her for being so pissed at me?

It was Friday afternoon and I split from my friends a little early to watch Jen and her new friends from behind the bleachers. Her group was seated on the top rows of the bleachers across the field from me. Fucking Dan couldn't keep his hands off her.

"So which one are you staring at?"

I gasped a bit, only to see that it was Carl, the janitor. He stood there smugly, keys jingling in his hand.

I sighed and turned back to where I was looking before. "The one with the black sweater and faded jeans."

Carl peeked over my shoulder. "That blondeish one?"

"Yeah,"

"Funny you should point her out."

"Why's that?"

"Well," he turned back and scratched his head. "Up until about a month ago, I never even noticed that girl. Or is she a new student?"

I shrugged. "That's what I was trying to figure out."

"Sure," he laughed, starting to walk away.

I caught up to him. "Hey, don't tell anyone that I was eying her."

He laughed again. "Who would I tell?"

"I don't know, just don't."

"Bender," he stopped and smiled. "You like her, don't you?"

"I don't even know her."

"Okay, her name is Jen, she's been going out with Daniel Baker for a month, she seems to make people laugh a lot, and she's pretty. Do you like her?"

"She has a boyfriend."

"So? That's never stopped you before!"

"I have a girlfriend."

"You have _ten_! Go ahead, make it eleven."

"Carl, has anyone ever told you that you're going to hell?"

He stepped into the parking lot, taking his keys out of his pocket again. "I've known that for a while now."

"Whatever, I'll get over it soon. I'm going to a party tonight so I'll get some and it'll just resolve itself."

As I began to go away, Carl called back for me. "Got any plans tomorrow?"

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and walked backwards. "I'll be in bed with a hangover. Why?"

"If you happen to be here around two while Vernon is still handling the kids in detention, we can take a peek in her locker. You can leave a note or something for her."

"A little old-fashioned?"

He stepped into his car. "I'm just trying to help a guy out."

"Wait! Two o'clock you said?"

~!~!~

Yeah, I was just the right amount of lame to write her a letter to apologize. I wait around for four days like it would just get better, then I end up writing it down and stuffing it into her locker.

I planned out what I would say in my mind as I walked home, but I really couldn't get past "Dear Jen". And by the time I got home, my friends were already there to pick me up for the party.

I guess pot and beer wasn't going to help me get my mind off things. The idea of writing that fucking letter was driving me nuts, so I slipped out at around ten. I walked all the way home, still drawing a blank. No wonder I had a D in English.

Somewhere around midnight, with a number or crumpled papers and a broken pencil around me, I was finally satisfied.

_Dear Jen,_

_You must really think I'm an asshole right now. First I make a big deal of you spending a lot of time with Dan, and then I avoid apologizing in person so I write a letter. Jennifer, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hate that Dan makes you happy. I miss you, that's all. Ever since you started going out with him, you haven't been with me as much. He loves being with you, I get it. It's just that I do, too. The last time we spent more than ten minutes together was three weeks ago when your dad pushed you and you cut your lip. We used to spend like an hour together every night. I'm not trying to make you feel bad and I'm not trying to get you to stop being with him so much. I guess I just want you to know why I've been getting so mad lately._

_Bender_

Again, I have a D in English.

~!~!~

I was nervous. Not about being at school when I wasn't supposed to be, but about the letter. I pulled open the front door, scanning the halls for Carl.

"Bender!" I heard. He was down the hall to my right. I strolled over to him, waiting to hear Jen's locker number.

"481!"

~!~!~

Clearly it wasn't Carl's first time going through a student's locker. Not a bit of doubt or guilt was shown on his face as he unlocked it.

"Huh," we both sighed. Not much was in there. When you think of a girl's locker, you automatically go to mirrors, pictures of celebrities, and extra clothes, but she didn't have any of that. All that was in there were textbooks, Dan's varsity jacket, and a roll of pictures of Dan and her taken from a photo booth.

"What about up here?" We checked the top two storage units, but all I found that spoke to me was a rubber ball.

"Why would she keep that?"

_"I hate high school!" Jen wailed._

_"How can you hate it, tomorrow's your first day."_

_"It's called woman's intuition, Bender."_

_I reached into my pocket and pulled out a blue rubber ball. "Here, keep this for luck. And since I shouldn't be around you, if something goes wrong, you can chuck this at someone's head."_

I carefully put the ball back. "Not sure,"

"So, did you bring a letter?"

I reached inside my coat pocket, feeling my folded paper. "Nope,"

"What?"

"Yeah, like I'd spend my time writing a note that wouldn't matter anyway."

"So then why'd you come?"

"I didn't want to stand you up." I laughed.

"John Bender, you are a doll."

~!~!~

Later that afternoon, I was outside my window listening to Jen's record player from the other side of the fence. I think it was Dean Martin. I assumed she was getting ready for Dan's party that I'd been hearing about.

_It would be so easy to just hop over and say sorry_.

For the first time in a while, I listened to my conscious.

Jen wasn't in her bedroom, so I assumed she was in the bathroom. I sat on her bed and waited patiently.

"Bender?"

"That's me,"

There she was, in her denim shorts, black leggings, and T-shirt of The Doors. Party ready. She crossed her arms, expecting me to say something.

With a deep breath, I stood up and stepped closer to her. "I'm sorry, Jen."

"It took you five days to say that?" I nodded. Jen sighed and threw her arms around my neck. "Better late than never."

I hugged her back. "Got a party tonight?"

She let go and shrugged. "I guess so. You?"

"I was going to, but the one last night was lame, so I thought I'd stay in."

Jen took a clip out of her hair, letting it drape over her shoulders again. "Great, then I'm staying home. I hate parties." She walked out of her room to the living room.

I followed her. "You can go if you want to."

She picked up the phone and expertly dialed a number. "I know, but I really don't. Dan'll be fine, he's got plenty of friends going. Hey, Dan, it's Jen. You can tell him he doesn't have to pick me up, I feel sick." She crossed her fingers behind her back. "I feel like I'm getting a migraine. No, don't worry about me, I'm just sorry I can't come." She uncrossed her fingers. "I love you, too. Talk to you tomorrow." She hung up. "I'm getting in my pajamas!"

"But it's only like five o'clock!"

She took a running start back to her room. "I know, I'm so excited. I haven't done this in _weeks!_"

**WOW THAT _SUCKED_. THE NEXT ONE WILL BE BETTER, I SWEAR.**

**Also, if you have an idea for what I should write at some point in the future for this, I'd be glad to write it! Leave it in the comments or PM me! I don't bite.**


	3. Walking Home

Usually I never minded walking home in the cold. Sometimes it even soothed me. But on a Wednesday when I was already aching for the weekend and on top of that, being exhausted, I was ready to scream. It wasn't my fault I was cranky, that's what happens when a guy doesn't get enough sleep.

Jennifer was out until 1:30 am with her boyfriend, Dan. That wasn't like her. I stayed up all night and I spent all day exploring every possible situation, and truth be told, I was disgusted with myself. Why didn't I trust her? It was probably something innocent, but Christ, I couldn't help but go straight to the worst thing.

As I went along, I watched her walking a block ahead of me. We promised to each other we wouldn't be seen together in public, but it almost didn't matter to me at that point. I had to know what she was doing out so late.

She must have felt me staring at her, because all of a sudden, she stopped and turned. For a moment, we just looked at each other, thinking the same thing. She was just standing there, waiting for me. She nodded, which gave me the green light to approach her. In any other setting I wouldn't, but we were only a couple blocks away from home anyways.

I guess we weren't safe anywhere. I was maybe five feet away from her when I heard the loud, shattering sound of screeching car tires. The cheap blue thing skidded past me and right up to Jen. Two jocks came out.

"Jen, get in the car. You don't know this guy."

"Um," she looked at me like a puppy. Our reputations were at stake and quite frankly, I never minded being the asshole of the situation, so I just raised my eyebrows and smirked.

One of them dragged Jen in while the other widened his eyes and took a step closer to me. "Got something on your mind?"

I shrugged. "Just that I think it's cute how you guys always have your matching jackets on."

"You _do_ realize that I can kick your ass with one arm tied behind my back, don't you?"

"And _you_ realize that you don't need either of your arms to kick?"

"You're asking for it."

"Please. The only reason you'd wail on me is to validate some sort of toughness in front of your friends."

He just kept cracking his knuckles. Nobody said a word until Jen poked her head out the door.

"My house is only like a block away, I can probably just-"

"Shut up, Jennifer." He snapped.

That was it. But what could I have done? I ended up releasing a long breath and said, "Do you always treat the girls you kidnap like that?"

**POW**, he nailed me right in the jaw. I stumbled a bit, but managed to quickly whip out my blade. With that, he threw himself into the car, slammed the door, and was gone. I grinned and put my knife back into my pants pocket. _Good job, me._

I continued walking, my blood boiling and my jaw clenching. If only they knew. If only we had the balls to be associated with each other. _You don't know this guy_ they said. Christ, I know her better than her parents do. They forcibly shove her into a car. I hop a fence and wake her up from her nightmares. They tell her to shut up. I tell her to look up when I put tissues into her bleeding nose. They do it so their friend won't kick their ass. I do it because I love her. So fuck you too, sportos.

When I got home the blue car was already gone. I assumed they dropped her off as quickly as possible because they couldn't care less about legitimately being her friend. I stomped back into my room where I saw that Jen had tucked herself under my covers. "We were watching a movie at Dan's and we fell asleep. When I woke up, he took me home." She told me simply.

I sat down next to her. "That's all I wanted to know."


	4. One December Night

I would always sleep with my window a little open. Even in the winter months when I just about froze to death, I knew I had to just in case. In late December, it was proven to me that I wasn't such a dumb-ass after all.

Late one night, I was kept awake by the sounds of Jen and her boyfriend Daniel in bed together. It took him the better part of three months, but he finally got her. I hated him like a disease, but at the same time, I knew I had to stay out of it this time. He made her happy. He made all the jocks watch after her like I always wanted to. I guess I couldn't blame him for loving her so much, but I could definitely blame him for what he did to her before all that.

After they finished, it got very, very quiet. You could hear a pin drop. I was about to doze off when I heard them talking again. I don't know exactly why, but I sat up to listen.

Their whispering turned into talking and the talking turned into yelling. After a couple of slams of doors and the engine of a car, he was gone and Jen started wailing.

Dan was a dead man. I didn't even know what he did, but I was going to fucking kill him. I practically threw myself out my window then through the side gate into the street, but I could only see the dim light from the back of his car making a speedy getaway.

Jennifer.

Through her gate and to her window, I saw her broken. Her face was in her hands and she was hiding her violated body from nothing under her blanket. I hate a lot of things in this world, but seeing Jen cry was number one.

I shoved myself into her room as quickly as I could and pulled her up to hold her. And when she seemed ready to speak, I asked, "What the hell happened?"

In a choppy, devastated way, she told me all about Dan and his little bet with the football team. I guess they thought her virginity was worth $100.

My heart dropped, then it came right back up, beating a thousand times a minute. "I'm gonna kill him," I let go of her. "I'm gonna kill all of them."

I stood, ready to chase Dan down again, but then I felt something tugging down at the bottom of my shirt. I looked back down at Jen. "John?" she whimpered. "Can you hold me just a little longer?"

Of course I melted back down to her side and held her tightly against me. "I'll hold you as long as you want." I assured her.

I pulled a bit away from her and took a look at her face. I hadn't seen her so damaged in years. The only other time she looked so awful was she she was seven or eight and her mom hit her for the first time. This was different. Bad luck seemed to follow her, and all I was able to do was hold her.

Jen looked down at the floor and noticed a pair of socks that I guess Dan left behind. "I've got to get out of this bed."

I stood up. "We'll go to mine, then."

She dropped the blanket she was holding up, revealing her bare body. Quickly, she pulled it back up again.

"Jen," I said, walking to her door to get her hung up bathrobe, "it's old news. Really, it doesn't matter so much to me."

She nodded and bashfully got up to meet me. I stood behind her and slid her robe on. I walked her to the window and was out first. The grass was wet and ice-cold. All that excitement distracted me until that moment when I realized that my feet were numb. At least I was wearing socks, but Jen wasn't. Upon my request, Jen slipped out her window into my arms so I could carry her around the fence into my room.

I dropped Jen on my bed conveniently placed just under my window and crawled past her to the hardwood floor. Without a second thought, she wrapped my blanket around herself and hid her face from me again. There was no stopping her being upset, so I figured I could at least help her out with some clothes.

I pulled open a drawer from my dresser and took out a pair of flannel pajama pants and tried looking for another long-sleeved shirt. Unsuccessful, I figured that she'd be fine in a regular t-shirt. I turned back to her shivering. "Why is it always so cold in your room?"

Fuck.

"I guess I like it better that way." With that, I pulled off my long-sleeve and tossed it to her with the pants. "Here, put these on."

She looked curiously at me. "Won't you be cold?"

"Don't worry about me." She kept looking at me, clothes in hand. I sighed. "Do you want me to turn around or something?"

"It's not that, it's just that I think you'll be too cold." She held my shirt back out to me. I took it out of her hands and quickly put it on over her head. For the briefest of moments, I saw her smile.

I leaned past her and shut the window. "Can you turn around now?" Jen asked.

I grabbed my t-shirt, walked out and shut the door behind me instead. She was still in pretty bad shape, so I went into the bathroom to get a new roll of toilet paper and the little wicker trash can. By the time I got back to my room, Jen was already in my pajamas and tucked in under the blanket.

I sat next to her and tore off a couple of squares of paper and dabbed down on her face. "We don't have any tissues around here." I handed her the rest of the roll.

She wiped her nose with a few squares and dropped them into the can, sitting up. "I'm sorry, John. I really don't mean to be much trouble."

"Jen," I smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder. "You're no trouble. This is what I do."

Jen hugged me around my back and sniffed again, not saying anything back. I never used to have to think about how to act in front of her. As far as she could tell, I was cool and natural, but it was hectic inside my head. _Is it weird that I acted so ok with her being naked? Should I have chased down Dan's car? Would it be OK to kiss her yet? Is she cold? Do my clothes I gave her smell?_ And so on and so on. I was on the brink of insanity.

Jen let go of me and I let her lay down again. Uncertainly, I climbed under the blanket next to her and put my head on my pillow next to hers. She looked at me for a moment, then moved down a bit and put her head on my chest. I tried breathing deeply and keeping my heart rate down.

I put an arm around her and rubbed her back silently. I stayed awake until I saw that she had fallen asleep.

Every day I realized more and more how much I loved Jennifer. She was just a poor, lost, and abused girl, but she was mine. Her tiny, thin body was mine, those big blue eyes were mine, even her virginity was mine. I really had no choice but to take care of her, but even if I had one, I wouldn't change a thing. I had to be the one to see her cry the most, but I got to be the one who dries off her tears and consoles her.

I hate Dan and everyone like him, but I know that she can't be with someone like me. I'm a fucking waste of skin and people like him are superheroes. But no matter how many times I told myself that, I could never keep myself from hopping the fence and keeping my eyes open in the newspaper for an apartment for us after graduation.

Of course I knew I had to find someone else as long as I couldn't have her. I'd go out with a girl a couple of times, but I would always dump her because of one reason: she wasn't Jen. I loved her so much I couldn't stand it. There would never be anyone else out there for me. She couldn't have felt the same way about me, though. I'd have to keep it a secret forever.

I laid there awake watching her sleep for a while. For a few hours, she would stay there with me, but the sun would soon rise and she would have to face life again. It wasn't enough that she had the worst god damned life at home, but she had to be used by the entire football team, too. Why her? Why my Jennifer?

My face started to feel hot. My entire body tensed.

_Deep breath, deep breath._

I balled a hand into a fist and bit it as hard as I could.

_Not right now. Not when she's here._

I sucked in a slow breath, but as it came in, it became more and more choppy. I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut. I clawed at my scalp and used every ounce of will power to refrain from crying.

Jen stirred. She let out a little sigh and settled back in on my chest. I sighed similarly and put both arms around her. "I'll hold you as long as you want."


	5. Rose Marie and Ann Marie and Jeannie

Sleepy and slightly drunk, I slowly dragged my feet from my friend's car to my bedroom. When I flicked on my light, who should I see?

Jennifer, of course. But something was missing.

She stared at me with mischievous eyes, her bare body barely covered by my blanket. "A little late, John?"

My brain went blank and my body went numb. Could this actually be happening? "Jen?"

"You looked surprised."

"That's because I am."

Out came one fair, freshly shaven leg and then another. She held my blanket in front of her chest as she strode to me. "It was only a matter of time."

"Didn't you just dump Dan three weeks ago?"

"So?"

I looked down at her, fighting every possible urge that popped in my head. "Do you know what you're in for if we do this?"

She smiled. "Perfectly."

I slipped off my coat.

**THUMP**

I opened my eyes and looked around. I was on the floor of my bedroom, alone. I sat up and yanked the chain of the lamp on my nightstand. My clock read 2:36. Frustrated and still hot, I tried desperately to finish my dream. I wasn't too successful.

Wide awake and suddenly bored, I thought,_ Jen might still be up._

I hopped the fence and looked into her window, seeing that her bed was empty. She wouldn't have been out anywhere, so I crawled through her window and quickly found her on the couch. Much unlike my dream, she was wearing clothes.

Jen was watching old Dick Van Dyke reruns in her sweatpants, a plain T-shirt, mismatched socks, a messy ponytail, and graham cracker crumbs _everywhere_.

At the sight of me, she put down the cracker box and stood up, brushing the crumbs off. "A little late, John?"

_Oh, man._

"I just had a weird dream."

"Ooh!" She sat back down and put a pillow on her lap. "Do tell!"

"You sure? You might hate me."

"Try me,"

"Alright then." I couldn't resist and laid down on her lap. "I may have had somewhat of a sex dream."

She brushed a few wisps of hair out of my face. "Alright, Bender! Do you know the girl or was it like a movie star?"

"No, I know her. You do, too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, guess who it was."

"That girl you brought home last week? The brunette with the big rack?"

"Nope,"

"It's almost three in the morning, I can't guess."

"She's in this room,"

Her eyes widened. She glanced up at the TV then back down at me. "It it's not Rose Marie, I'm about to be very uncomfortable."

I smiled, sitting up. "If it was Rose Marie, I'd have been throwing up instead of coming over here."

Jen cringed. It was probably a bad idea to tell her about all that, but I still took pleasure in seeing her squirm. "Just tell me that I wasn't dressed up as Princess Leia or something."

"No, it was actually pretty normal. You were sitting in my bed all wrapped up in my blanket, that's all. Nothing happened either, but it would have, had I stayed asleep."

"And then you came over here."

"My dream had nothing to do with that."

"You just missed me, right?"

"Sure,"

We sat for a few moments in comfortable silence, thinking about the same thing. No, it wasn't my dream and no, it wasn't Dick Van Dyke.

"Jen?" She looked over at me, expecting what I was about to ask. "Why are you up so late?"

"You know the answer to that, John."

"Do you want to sleep in my bed again?"

She stared straight ahead of her, pretending to be invested in the show. "Well, That Girl is on next and after that is I Dream of Jeannie and you know how much I-"

"Jen,"

Her eyes were glistening and her bottom lip was quivering. "What if he comes back?"

I scooted closer to her and put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me. She rested her head on my shoulder and sniffed, grabbing my other hand with both of hers. "Jen, your dad has been gone for almost two weeks now. He's split before, but that would only be for two or three days. I don't think he'll be coming back."

"What if he does?"

"Remember the baseball bat I put in your room when you started going out with Dan?"

"Yeah,"

"You can use that on your dad, too."

I saw her smile a bit. I let a moment or two pass before asking for the second time, "Do you want to sleep in my bed again?"

"That would be a bad habit to get into, don't you think?"

"Not necessarily. Do you want me to sleep in your bed with you instead?"

"That's not really a step up."

"How about if you keep watching your dumb reruns until you fall asleep, then I can carry you to bed and stay awake on your floor until morning?"

"That sounds annoying for you."

I shrugged. "You know I'll stay awake anyways."

She lifted her head and wiped off her cheeks. "I'm sorry about all this."

"Whatever," I pulled her down next to me and let her rest her head on my chest.

_Diamonds, daisies, snowflakes, That Girl..._

"John?" She asked, picking lint off my shirt.

"What?"

"Did you drink tonight?"

I picked up her hand to stop her annoying little habit. "Are we really talking about this again?"

She hugged me around my sides. "I'm just saying, you can find an alternate."

_Like fucking you._

"Like what?"

"Uh... Knitting?"

_That must be slang for fucking you inside-out and backwards_.

"That's not going to happen."

"Why not?"

_Because I'd destroy you._

"Because it's a bad idea."

"What about card games?"

_STRIP POKER._

"What if I just keep drinking?"

"Because it's just leads to trouble. But hey, if you want to keep poisoning your body, then go ahead."_  
_

"That's all I ask."

_Yeah, it's either that or jumping off a building because you're not mine._

~!~!~

Somewhere around four, as I Dream of Jeannie was just starting, I looked down and saw that Jen was out like a light. I didn't have to be too careful because she was so out of it and tucked her in bed. I leaned on the wall next to her and watched her until she woke up again later that morning.

**Sorry if it got a bit too inappropriate, I've just been spending the last few days with a bunch of boys, so..yeah...**


	6. Claire

What a day. I had been in Saturday detention a number of times, but the times before only ever included weed and naps. I never made friends there before, and I _really_ never asked out a girl there before. And it wasn't just any girl, it was fucking _Claire Standish_.

I had only ever seen her around school enough to think she was just a typical popular girl and spoiled rotten. After actually talking with her, she seemed alright.

I carefully lowered myself out of the vent and sat back down on a pile of crap in the storage room, waiting for Vernon to let me out. I started to look for something to do when I heard the door open.

_I didn't think it was three yet..._

Either Vernon got a red wig, or it was Claire that came in. She closed the door behind her and leaned back, trying to hold in a bigger smile than she was already smiling.

"You lost?"

~!~!~

Usually when I start going out with a girl, we'd go to a party or something, but pretty much the moment after it was official, she hopped in her dad's car and left. That was different, and I liked it. There was more mystery there. I walked home exhilarated, thinking about all that would change by being with her. Maybe she'd help me finally move on from Jennifer.

The Monday after, we made it absolutely clear that we were a couple. Frankly, I was impressed. I kept holding her hand and she kept smirking at everyone that gave us a funny look. We ate lunch by ourselves in the corner of the cafeteria and generally acted like any other couple.

We didn't verbally tell anyone about us, they all seemed to catch on anyway. I practiced my look that I'd give to people I knew, except for Jen. I couldn't think of where to begin with her, I didn't even tell her the Saturday it happened. With other girls, she'd hear me in my room with her and that would be that, but Claire was obviously different than them. As far as I could tell, we had a real relationship going on. Or at least what I could consider real, given that all girls to me were ultimately distractions from Jen.

Thursday of that week, Claire wanted to see my house.

"No you don't,"

She held the collar of my denim jacket and stepped closer to me. "Of course I do. John, you seem so distant, maybe this'll help me get to know you better."

"It's a hole, why waste our time when you got a nice place we can hang out?"

Her big, brown eyes looked up into mine and she pouted, "Please? For me."

_Fuck._

~!~!~

"Don't look now," Claire whispered on our walk to my house, "but Jennifer Henson is following us."

_FUCK_. "Who?"

"You don't know her? Consider yourself lucky, she's _such_ a bitch."

_WHAT_. "How so?"

"She used to go out with Daniel Baker. He was so crazy for her, then out of nowhere, she dumped him. Now he's depressed and she completely avoids him."

"Well, Dan's a dick, so good for Janice."

"Jennifer,"

"Right, that's what I said."

"Daniel's not bad. Jennifer, however, _is_. Just believe me on this. She totally hates me, too. Maybe she's waiting for me to be alone so she can confront me or something."

I was just about ready to shove Claire into the gutter. How could I go about doing that without her knowing it was for Jen...?

"Stop it, Claire."

Her eyes widened, so I just looked straight ahead. "Stop what?"

"I don't like gossip."

"It doesn't effect any of the people you like, why do you care?"

I stopped and yanked my arm back from around her shoulders. "Claire, stop it or I'm gone. I hate gossip, I shouldn't have to justify that to you."

Claire took a step closer, hugged me under my arms and leaned her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Of course I was still pissed at her for saying those things about my Jennifer, but I had to give her something. I couldn't think of anything decent to say so I patted her on the back and moved on.

~!~!~

I don't know what got into me, but I felt a strange emptiness in my stomach as I fit my key into the lock of my front door. Claire knew I lived in a pretty shitty place, but I wasn't sure how shitty she expected it to be. She lived in a big, warm, two-story place, pretty much the exact opposite of mine. I didn't care if she never came over again, I just didn't want her to treat me differently because of it.

I pushed the door open and stepped in, waiting for her to follow me. "Well, this is it. Regret coming here yet?" I put my keys and binder on the coffee table.

"It's not that bad," she said, peeling her jacket off and taking a look around.

If I had known that my new girlfriend was coming over, I would have at least thrown away all the beer cans laying around and taken care of all the muddy footprints on the floor. Too bad.

"Are we alone?"

I tossed my coat and scarf on the sofa, suddenly realizing that it was as cold inside as it was outside. "Yeah, my dad works late and my mom is probably out with one of her boyfriends."

"Your mom's cheating?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if my dad was, too."

"You seem to be okay with it."

"Why wouldn't I be? It's not my fucked up marriage. Wait here."

I went back to my bedroom and tossed all my dirty clothes sitting around into the laundry room then called back to Claire, "The coast is clear!"

In seconds, Claire was in my room. She looked really uncomfortable.

"What's eating you?" I sat next to her on my bed.

"It feels like my house."

I laughed. "Yeah, _sure_. Your palace is exactly like this."

"No, I didn't mean that. It _feels_ the same."

"How do you mean?"

"It's lonely,"

"So? Lots of parents work late."

"Not _empty_, lonely."

"You lost me, Claire."

"My house used to feel like a home, but since my brother left, it feels hollow, you know?"

"No,"

"Of course not, you've always been like this. Imagine having someone here with you. Someone who was always right next to you, someone who understood without you having to explain. When my brother left, a part of me did, too. When he left, I realized that he was just pretending he was okay and that he was always trying to hide my real parents from me. When he left, I realized how bad it was at home."

"Is it really that bad?"

She looked down at her hands in her lap and shrugged. "I guess it's just lonely."

I didn't know what I could say. I took her cheek and turned her face to me then kissed her. Actions speak louder than words, my friends.

~!~!~

Around six, I walked Claire home. She had some homework to catch up on, and quite honestly I did too, but instead of getting straight to it, I went over to Jen's.

_Imagine having someone here with you. Someone who was always right next to you, someone who understood without you having to explain._

I found that someone in the kitchen dancing to Frank Sinatra with a bowl of mac 'n cheese. I'm sure she knew I was there, but she wasn't ready to acknowledge me in mid-song. I saw some pasta left over and helped myself.

I leaned against the wall and watched her. Even as she mouthed the words, taking an occasional bite while spinning like a dizzy three year-old, I couldn't help but be reminded of everything that I already loved about her. To this day, I keep finding new reasons why. Of course she had annoying flaws, but there were so many damn reasons of why she was so damn wonderful, I overlooked them.

Soon, her song was over and she took the needle off the record. She hopped up onto the counter facing me and scraped the sides of her bowl with her spoon. "So... Claire Standish, huh?"

I took her bowl out of her hands and gave her a fresh scoop of mac 'n cheese. "What about her?"

"You're doing it with her now?"

"Do you think I'm made of stone? We're in an adult relationship, it's more deep than just sex." I shoveled a spoonful of pasta in my mouth anxiously.

"So you mean you're not doing it with her _yet?"_

"Fuck you too, Jen."

"Don't talk with your mouth full. I'm sorry I just really-"

I quickly swallowed. "You hate her, right?"

She exhaled loudly and slid off the counter. "Quite frankly, yes. But in all fairness, you hated Dan too, so it's only fair that I be as cool as you were."

"Are you kidding? You hated me more in those three months than you ever have the whole time I've known you."

"Exactly,"

"Okay, I won't ask you to like her, but don't aggressively hate her in front of me." I put my bowl in the sink. "Would you be a doll and make my bed up for me? I'll be back in a while." I kissed her on the cheek and went back to her bedroom to let myself out.

"Love you too, Bender."

I lingered in her bedroom for a moment, unsure as to why. Knowing I'd be back in a few hours, I hopped the fence. I took a seat on the couch and took my binder off of the coffee table. It wouldn't be long until I wouldn't have to deal with school shit anymore and I'd have to deal with real life shit. It wouldn't be long until I was out of the house and Jennifer's former neighbor.

_When he left, I realized how bad it was at home._

I glanced at the newspaper. Eagerly, I looked up the apartment listings, saying out loud to myself, "I won't let that happen to me."


	7. It's Unavoidable

About a week later, I was at my locker when Claire came. Normally, she'd have a big smile for me and wouldn't hesitate to wrap her arms around me, but this time she looked much different. Her arms were crossed, her eyes stared at her shoes, and that big smile was nowhere in sight.

"John," she started. She seemed at a loss of words, but she didn't have to go on. I saw this coming a mile away.

I took off her diamond earring and held it in my open palm in front of her. She looked up at me with her big, heavy eyes and her frown sunk even more. "It's just not working for me."

Of course it wasn't. I flipped my hand over and let the diamond fall to the dirty, miserable tile floor. With that, I turned on my heel and left.

And that was that.

~!~!~

Word about Claire and I breaking up spread like wildfire. It wouldn't have been such an issue for me if I had been the one to end it. I was known for playing love her and leave her, but I've never been on the receiving end of being left. Walking around the halls made me feel like a fucking loser. The only person I wanted to be with was Jen and there was no way I was going to ruin her name along with mine.

School felt three times longer that day, but finally at 3:00, I was let go. I could have ditched, but that would have made matters worse.

I walked straight to Jen's yard and through her side gate, then climbed through her window and waited on her bed for her to come home. After a couple of minutes, I looked over at her nightstand at her Betty Boop clock and saw that it was almost 3:45. What was taking her?

My anger finally caught up with me, and instead of trashing Jen's room, I decided to further trash her backyard. I was not ten seconds into my rampage when Jen's head poked over the fence. "What are you doing over there?"

I stood on the crate on her side, facing Jen. "What are _you_ doing over _there_?"

"I was waiting for you to get home."

"So was I,"

She put her hands on top of the fence and extended her arms, pushing herself up. I hopped off the crate as she swung her legs over. "I heard about you and Claire."

I put my hands on her hips and helped her down, even though she could get over the fence with a blindfold on. But hey, it's nice to be nice. "Why don't we just put it in the newspaper?"

Jen kept her hands on my shoulders, stood on her tiptoes and gave me a peck on the cheek. Usually I was the one to kiss her, so it was ten times more incredible the other way around.

"If you want to finish your tantrum out here, I can go inside and make you some coffee?"

I nodded, eyeballing a couple of old dining room chairs I would bust from across the yard. When she got inside, I called over to her, "Can you make it Irish?" She shook her head disapprovingly. "Can't blame me for trying."

~!~!~

With sweat dripping down my face and blood down my arm, I went back in. Jen wrapped my arm in a bandage once all the splinters were out and gave me my coffee. I sat on the floor, leaning against the couch as Jen sat behind me and rubbed my shoulders.

"Was she good in bed at least?"

I chuckled, half amused with all my bad luck. "We didn't have sex,"

She leaned forward, close to my face. "What was that?"

I pushed her back upright and put her hands back on my shoulders. "Don't stop,"

"But that's unheard of! Hell, we had sex and I never even went out with you!"

"I know,"

"Maybe you can use the time with me as a wild card and put it in Claire's spot."

I sighed. "What would I do without you?"

We were silent again for a few moments.

"I've never seen you this way over a girl," she said.

I shrugged, taking another sip of my coffee. "It's not just that,"

"What's the rest?"

I drew in a deep breath and put my mug on the floor next to me. "In November, I'm going to turn twenty and I haven't had a girlfriend for more than a month. I'm not sure if I ever want to get married, but I'd like to know if I could."

Jen stopped and slid onto the floor next to me. "Why can't you?"

"Are you serious? I'm a fucking train wreck. Who'd be enough out of their mind to be my wife? I'd have to get her drunk out of her mind or pay her off or something."

"I'll tell you what," she grabbed one of my hands, "if we're still single by the time we're forty, I'll be your wife."

Twenty-one years. I'd have to wait twenty-fucking-one more years to be able to marry her. She would always be the one person I could imagine spending the rest of my life with, I knew that for sure. She'd probably get married before that anyway. She probably didn't even mean it! It would be better for her sake if we didn't see each other anymore after high school. How could I be so selfish all the time?

"I need a drink," I spat out, getting up and going straight to the kitchen. "I need _a lot_ to drink."

I stood in the middle of the room and looked at the scuffed up wooden cabinets, trying to remember where Jen's mom kept the hard stuff. Before I could decide, Jen slid in on her socks and sat on the counter, guarding one particular cabinet.

I stepped over and planted my hands on either side of her. I looked up at her and smirked. "I wonder which one the liquor cabinet is."

She pressed herself back, terrified. "Don't,"

I smacked the countertop with the same frustration I felt as I took out the old chairs in the backyard. "God damn it, Jennifer! I get why you hate me drinking at parties, but this is different! I need it this time!"

Jennifer's eyes started to turn red and her lips started to quiver. I knew that look far too well, and this time I was causing it.

I banged my fist on the wall. "Don't look at me like that!"

She put her face in her hands and started to shake.

I went back to her the same way I was before, my hands trapping her. She pressed herself back again, her face red with tears all over. "This is how it starts," she whispered unevenly.

"How what starts?"

She looked away from me, sniffing and trying to catch her breath. She squeezed her eyes shut. "Do you want to end up like your father?" She opened her eyes. "Do you want to end up like _my_ father?"

That's when I really lost it.

"What did you just say?"

Jennifer tried to squirm away, but I wouldn't let her. I clawed at her shoulders and held her close. "What did you say to me?!"

She looked away again, so I took her cheek with one hand and twisted her face back to me. "You don't talk to me like that! Not after everything I've-"

Jennifer suddenly hid her face behind her arms and let out a yelp. Then I realized that my arm was pulled back and my hand was in a fist.

I let go of her.

The second she was free, Jen started to book it back to her bedroom, while nearly falling on her face in the process. I just stood there, stunned with myself. My hands started to shake.

Jen slammed her door. I dug my nails into my scalp and hunched over, hearing everything I said echo in my head over and over again.

_It's unavoidable_. _Just happens._

_What happens?_

_When you grow up, your heart dies_.

_Who cares?_

_I care._

I went back to her room, at first walking and then running. I felt like a rope had been tied around my waist that tried to tug me back harder and harder as I got closer to Jen's door, but lo and behold, I made it.

I took a deep breath and gently knocked on her door. "Jen?"

No answer.

I knocked again. "Jen, I..." I reached down for the knob and tried to twist it, but she locked it. I felt a lump the size of an apple swell up in my throat. Jennifer locked me out.

That's when I lost my shit again.

I knocked harder. "Jennifer? Jen, please, just..." I sniffed and reminded myself to breathe. "I didn't mean to..."

Everything started to look blurry and my voice kept on cracking.

"Jen?" ... "Jennifer?" ... "JENNIFER!"

I couldn't see. I couldn't stand. I slid down the door, smacking and screaming her name, but there was still so answer. Before I knew it, I was on the floor, covering my face in my hands, heaving and screaming her name. She wasn't coming back, I knew she wasn't. Still, I screamed for her. My face was hot and wet and my body was shaking all over. I fucked up.

I stood on my knees, pressing myself to the door, swatting the door and choking on my tears. "I'm sorry, Jen,"

I don't know exactly how long I sat there wallowing, but at some point, Jen came to the door. I immediately pulled myself together when I heard her unlock the door. Still on my knees, she opened it.

I threw my arms around her legs and tried piecing together a coherent sentence, but all that came out was something like "Jen, I'm so... I don't know what happened" in between a sniff and a short breath.

Without a sound, Jen unwrapped herself from my hold on her and stepped past me. At that point, I was sure it was over. I didn't have any tears left, I just collapsed again on the floor and took deep breaths, feeling an intense headache coming on.

"Jennifer..."

I pillowed my face in my arms, telling myself over and over that I lost her. Then a miracle happened. I felt a soft, familiar hand run down my back. I lifted my head and there she was, her face still a bit pink and a tissue box in her lap.

I moved the box and put my head in her lap. She petted my head and whispered to me, "It's okay now. You just had a bad day. I got you at a bad time, that's all."

"I shouldn't have said those things. I shouldn't have raised my arm like that."

"You didn't hit me though,"

"Doesn't matter," I sat up, feeling the lump in my throat again. "I could have. You were right, I'm turning into our dads."

"No, but all that alcohol you pour into yourself could get you on the right track. You're better than them, John."

"Am I?"

"Are you kidding?" She pointed down the hall to the couch. "You sleep on that thing almost every night because I get scared," she pointed to her window, "you set out wooden crates on both sides of the fence so we could hop back and forth whenever we needed each other," she pulled out two tissues, "and before you even knew my name, you shoved these up my nose to stop my bleeding. You did that and so much more, I don't know how I could ever repay you. You got a little angry today, so what? The great things you do for me outweighs that."

I pulled her over to me and held her tight again. "I'm still sorry,"

She hugged me back. "I'll always love you. Remember that, okay?"

_Will you still love me in twenty-one years when I can have you?_

**Hello, cute people on the Internet. I am out of ideas for dear old Jender. I might come up with something after Over the Fence, but don't count on it. PLEASE, if you have even the tiniest little itsy bitsy idea, PM me. I'll make it happen. I looooove Jender, but I need help. Don't be shy, I'm willing to write anything, even if your idea is something like Bender and Jen throwing M&M's at each other. Help, I don't want this to be over yet!**


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